Why is it so easy to fall into a relationship with a narcissist and then feel like you can’t get out?
The answer is rooted in the way society has conditioned us to accept fairy tales as reality. We have been brainwashed to believe that our love can transform a beast into a prince charming.
It’s time to put the fairy tales aside and start believing in Shark Tales.
FREE Resource!
199 Terms to Describe a Pathological Narcissist
&
28 Manipulation Tactics of Narcissistic Abuse
FYI…
Narcissistic Abuse is a mouthful, and as you can imagine, I am writing, saying, and typing it ALL the time.
I don’t use the acronym, “NA”, as you might see elsewhere, because it’s also associated with Narcotics Anonymous. So, I came up with my own shorthand version of Narcissistic Abuse…
“NAb”
The climate of our world today has demonstrated that no one is immune to the impact of pathological narcissism.
However, no one seems to be shouting from the rooftops that it is the root of so much of the conflict.
Let’s shift the public’s perception of antagonistic behaviors so that everyone can begin to stand up and say “No” to narcissists and “Yes” to themselves.
What is Narcissistic Abuse?
Narcissistic Abuse, or NAb, describes a pattern of ongoing psychological abuse that occurs within any type of relationship with a person who exhibits pathological levels of narcissistic and antagonistic personality traits.
My hope is to help you better understand Narcissistic Abuse (NAb), learn how to go from surviving to thriving, determine how you want to move forward, find your path to healing from the abuse, and be prepared for how to avoid narcissists in the future.
Have you been experiencing Narcissistic Abuse Stress (NAb Stress)?
Narcissistic Abuse Stress (NAb Stress) is the term I came up with to describe what you experience when you are impacted by narcissistic abuse (NAb), typically over an extended period of time. NAb Stress encompasses the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, as well as overall emotional experience and reactions you may have to NAb.
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It’s not uncommon to feel trapped when you are in a relationship with a narcissist. You may also feel trapped within yourself, within your home, within your life, etc.
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Having a narcissist in your life creates a sense of uncertainty. You have no way of predicting the timing or severity of their next outburst. This ultimately leads to not feeling emotionally safe.
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You may communicate in the healthiest and most direct way possible, yet a narcissist will inevitably still twist what you say around, whether intentionally or not. Sometimes, it feels like they aren’t even hearing what you are saying.
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As long as you have something to offer that they want (attention, resources, etc.), they stick around. Similar to Narcissistic Supply.
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With one of the most common tactics of narcissists being gaslighting, you are likely to find yourself commonly in a state of confusion.
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You may be afraid your partner will leave you for someone else or you’ll worry you won’t be able to successfully function if they do leave you. You also might fear ongoing or escalating conflict.
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The level of pain someone experiences while in a romantic relationship with a narcissist cannot be overstated. It may lead you to lash out in anger or numb your experiences with food or substances.
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Because narcissistic abuse involves so much victim-blaming, you can begin to feel like something is wrong with you or as though the problems are your fault.
You also may feel shame from others’ judgments outside of the relationship for wanting to stay or wanting to leave.
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Anger is a survival mechanism. It is usually the outward expression of fear, hurt, or shame.
Managing life with a narcissist is similar to standing in the shorebreak at the beach. Sometimes the water is calm with no surf at all. Other times, you getting pummeled by crashing waves and feel lucky to keep your head above water.
Understanding
Narcissism
Narcissism is actually present in all of us. It can be simply defined as a focus on self. We experience it on a spectrum, with a healthy level of narcissism on one end and an unhealthy, pathological, and destructive level on the other end.
Since we’re all self-focused to a certain extent, we all fall somewhere on the spectrum of narcissism. Some do not focus on themselves at all, while others are self-focused to a pathological level that interferes with their daily life and interpersonal relationships - these are Narcissists.
Understanding Pathological Narcissism
To put it simply, the root cause of pathological narcissism starts when deep insecurity and fragile self-esteem lead to the avoidance of shame, or feeling like one isn’t good enough. To cope, a person creates a false self-image and does their best to maintain that image, for themselves and for others.
If this is combined with a deficient level of empathy development, then as an adult, they are unable to identify when their attempts to maintain the false self-image will lead to behaviors that take advantage of or harm another person.
“It’s still abuse even if they never laid a hand on you.”
You are never to blame for a narcissist’s choice to abuse you.
Nothing you have done, or could do, has made you deserving of the abuse that has occurred within your relationship.
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