Loving Parenting of Teenagers 101
What is our primary job as a parent?
To make sure that our children feel loved and to teach them how to love others. Everything else will fall into place.
Our kids have brains. They have Google and YouTube. They can learn how to do anything they set their minds to if they don’t already know how. Trust me, they know how to make their bed already. They know how to clean their room. If they don’t know how to do their laundry or boil water, they can google it or just ask you.
The amount of stress that we put on ourselves, and on our children, when they aren’t doing the things we think they should be doing - when we think they should be doing them - does a great disservice to our relationship with our kids and the very limited time we have with them. When you are on your deathbed, will you be regretting not getting your kids to make their bed every day, or will you be regretting not telling them that you loved them every day?
Our children deserve so much more than our disappointment. They deserve to feel loved every moment of every day. They deserve to know that we will love them no matter what they do or don’t do. They deserve to not be burdened by the fear of disappointing us. They deserve our unconditional love, unconditional acceptance, and unconditional positive regard.
There is only one thing you need to accomplish in order to succeed as a parent - making sure your child feels loved - truly loved to their core for the person they are, just as they are. You can mess up at anything and everything else, but if your child feels the warmth of unconditional love from you, you cannot possibly fail as a parent.
This may sound too simple to be true, but it is. This is because when our children grow up feeling unconditionally loved by their parents, a foundation of knowing how to love themselves is built. And a person who knows how to love theirself can accomplish any purpose they feel called to. This foundation of love from a parent and love for self also sets the standard for love in their future relationships. It is what will lead our teenagers to grow into adults who are the healthiest version of themselves, which will lead them to find a partner who is healthy for them and enable them to know how to develop their relationship into one that is healthy and built on love and acceptance.
And it’s not just romantic partnerships that will benefit from this foundation of love that you will provide. All of their relationships will be measured by love and respect. Our young adult children will be less likely to allow toxic friends to stay in their lives. They will be more likely to walk away from toxic bosses and unhealthy work environments. And overall, their lives will be much more free of toxicity and much healthier, so that way they can enjoy their life and bring joy to others’ lives.
